Sharing At Meetings
When we first enter the rooms of Al-Anon, we may feel burdened by the pain, guilt, frustration, or shame of what we have been experiencing in our relationships with alcoholics. When we realize that it is safe to share what is in our minds and hearts, these details may spill out of us along with tears, anger, self-pity, and blame.
As we listen to others share in meetings, and especially when we find a Sponsor and start working the Steps, we soon discover that it is better to keep the focus on ourselves. We can share what we are learning along this path to recovery and what has changed about our own attitudes and actions. We can seek solutions to our own difficulties and begin to see our part in the dynamics of all of our relationships.
We leave other affiliations outside — our professions, specific religious beliefs, the social or economic status we have achieved, and our cultural backgrounds. We enter these rooms as equals with one thing in common: our lives have been affected by alcoholism in a friend or family member. We gather together to offer understanding and comfort to each other and to share our experience, strength, and hope for a more serene and joyful life.
More importantly, we do not reveal in an Al-Anon meeting the details about what our loved ones have said or done or intimate details about ourselves in relation to them. Such details can be shared in a private conversation with a Sponsor or another Al-Anon member. We avoid criticizing, demeaning, or gossiping about the alcoholics in our lives and learn, instead, to separate the individuals we love from this cunning and baffling disease from which they suffer. We learn to feel compassion and, ultimately, forgiveness for others and for ourselves.
When we share in meetings, we speak to the Group as a whole, rather than responding directly to someone else’s share. This may be surprising to newcomers who are seeking feedback or immediate answers. As we listen carefully, however, we soon find that the answers we are seeking are in the shares themselves. There are people in these rooms who have been where we are, and they offer gifts that are most often understood by the heart before the mind. Listening in meetings while remaining fully present is a gift we give to each other and ourselves.