A Member Shares On...
FEAR OF BEING RECOGNIZED
As I walked in to my first Al-Anon in twenty years, I was so worried someone would recognize me because I live in a relatively small town with only three meetings in it. I arrived a little late because I sat in the parking lot so worried about the “What Ifs?”
The fear was quickly extinguished as I walked into a room with only candles for light and couldn’t see anyone. “Aahhhh, this feels safe,” I thought. About forty minutes later, I was asked to share and I spewed out tears with a brief description of why I was there. Then the lights came on, and not only could I see the names on the phone list they gave me but the faces. My fear was ignited — there was someone from the gym, from a place of worship, and a former co-worker. I swore I’d never go back to that meeting; in fact, I recall scurrying out of that meeting so fast so that none of the people I recognized could talk to me.
The next day, I went to another meeting a city away from where I live; and there they all were, just as the night before — the exact same people! I thought: “They said try six meetings, so I’ll try another one.”
At my next meeting, there were only a few familiar faces — none that I knew personally, but they’d also been at the previous two meetings. As the week went on and I went to those first six meetings, I realized that, even if someone has seen me at a meeting, they are going to practice anonymity. It took me a while to really trust sharing in the meetings where I’d seen people I knew outside of the Al-Anon fellowship; but after four-and-a-half years in, I know that these are the safest places for me to share other than with my sponsor.
Welcome to Al-Anon! Keep coming back; it works if you work it, and you’re worth it.
— Grateful Al-Anon Member since 2018